I wish I could put it in a piece
I wish I could say this is really how I feel
It’s grief on some days
But those other days
I mourn what could have been
What better decisions would have made of my life
I want to let this piece be a body con on the figure that is my feeling
But it just wouldn’t take that shape
The right shape
I’ll let you in on it but you’ll never fully understand
I want to scream on some days
And on those days I shrink and sob into my pillow
Because I’m a dependent ingrate that will cry at every single chance I get
Sometimes I feel an actual stab in my chest and I just lay lifeless waiting for time to take me away
So I can dwell in the arms of my ancestors or those high above
But it never happens, I get sealed again and I’m thrown into this realm of angst and bitterness
I’m still waiting for this piece to take the shape of what I feel but it just wouldn’t grow in the right places so this is not a final form
It isn’t fitting
I want to be on a cliff and jump off it on some days But I hold me back because someone thinks that’s not the right attack
Maybe it’s me
Maybe on the day my words take the right shape and clings to the body of emotions
I would be saved from this fall.

Writing anything nowadays has become a little hard for me. I’ve been off this blog for more than a month now. Thank you if you’re still subscribed. The poem or whatever above is one of my drafts and well I decided to publish it today. Enjoy.


  1. I really love this one♥️♥️♥️
    Sometimes we can’t even explain how we actually feel and just need to sit down and try to put the thoughts together to see if that would help


    1. Exactly Maymunah. On the day I originally wrote this draft, I was trying to put my thoughts into writing and I felt better after I did. Thank you❤


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