They usually say when you cringe at old happenings or moments you have grown. I don’t know if that’s something I should be happy about or not but either way I’ve decided to humour you with the most notably embarrassing moments of my life so far.
Yeah I get it, you’re probably bracing yourself for some good laughter but since my sense of humour might be a little problematic, I cannot promise you they will be funny. Anyway, sit tight and laugh at my moments of social awkwardness and public misfortune.
Before I start, please keep it in mind that I’m totally over these happenings and it doesn’t bother me. It’s now for entertainment purposes.
If you are socially awkward and you are a quiet person please avoid trying to blend in quick in public places. Trust me, you do not want to know the outcome.
Scenario 1: It was my Aunty’s wedding and I was bored. The Yoruba band spoiling Davido and Wizkid’s songs were making me move my legs a little while I was sitting so I decided to go and join my cousin’s who were dancing. Well, I might have pushed it a little more than I should have.
Where I went wrong was blowing the dance out of proportion and loosing it. I went totally overboard making all those faces you make when you dance to Alanta and Yahooze. My aunts and elder cousins were asking me if I had something to drink and that was when I realised I was a clown.
You don’t always need the outfit, you just need to have it in you and I had it in me. The clown lives inside me. I really think everything I did that day was a cry for help. With that being said avoid being the laughing stock and never fit in the wrong way.
Scenario 2: If you knew me really well during my first four years of secondary school, you’ll understand what I mean when I say I was a social outcast. I don’t know why but I wasn’t just it.
So when I was told that a boy wanted me to be his valentine when I was in Sss1, I was so confused I asked why. Don’t even for a second think that your probable dream of a high school chick flick movie is about to happen in my life.
Honestly believe me when I say these moments in my life were so cringe.I mean, don’t get me wrong everyone is beautiful in God’s sight but were we really going to be the “social outcast power couple”. Absolutely not. So I said no to his request.
You know what they say about persistence, right? Yeah. The boy kept coming back. Even though, I kept saying no he thought it was appropriate to walk me to my hostel after night prep. He had my social anxiety doubling. You know, trying to hide your face and run away from the world.
Everyday was honestly a new day to think of an escape route. Before you ask, yes it was that bad. I even started hiding behind people since I was short. The desperation for avoidance was real. Long story cut short, all my attempts to escape on February 14 2013 proved abortive because by all means I was given a bottle of J&W cocktail. I’m sorry if you can see this Christopher but honestly I never drank it.