People pleasing is bondage

When I finally have a moment with the society.

You know it’s funny how we are constantly on this everyday loop of people pleasing. I know most of y’all will read that first sentence and be like “Well it’s a lie, I actually happen not to give a fuck what people think” but majority of us lie when we say that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to blow your cover, friend.

For example, I open my wardrobe looking for what to wear everyday and I’m picking my own clothes in people’s opinion. “Nah, can’t wear this, it will make me look shorter, I can’t be short it’s bad” “No, this isn’t good for me since I’m already too skinny, skinny already looks sick enough”. I totally get it, people are incapable of keeping their mouths shut so we try to look good for them but have you ever considered looking good for yourself. Guess what, I heard it’s comfortable.

Honestly I’m trying to get more comfortable in my own skin without thinking about other people’s opinions playing on a constant loop in my head but it’s not as easy as they make it look in the movies.

Y’all are probably thinking how we got into this conversation but since this is my personal ranting space, I beg for you to bear with me. Also thanks for sticking around.

Confidence is hardwork. Hard to build, easy to crumble. I almost don’t get it. We are all living, going in different directions but we all have similar struggles. The freaking Society. The society thinks they are some kind of judge. They tell you to do this, they tell you to do that. They don’t care if they lead you astray, just do what they want. It isn’t too much to ask, right?

The people that tell us what to be and what not to be. They built the foundation of the present people pleasing cycle. The society has norms. And what are norms? The rules set by some people who happen to be very narrow in mind. “You must do this” “You must wear that”. If I’m being honest, it’s exhausting. It gets really frustrating when you are not being you for you.

Being concerned about what people will say or how you look is a mind built prison and if you don’t escape it you’ll regret not living enough to actually savour life changing moments. At the end of the day, the truth is that some people don’t actually give a shit about how you look, they just say these things about your appearance to get under your skin. The ones that “care” believe they are your “fashion police and guardian angels, they are concerned and they hope you see what they see” since their opinions must always be aired. Truthfully, you shouldn’t care because they don’t.

How can we build confidence and shun the society? Building your confidence is not a days journey, believe me it’s not even a months journey. It’s almost like building a house. It incomplete till its finished. Shunning the society is not possible, you can just decide to stop caring about the norms and what people say.

Living a life filled with narrow minded norms seems like imprisonment to me. Free yourself, don’t be a slave to your mind. That mind is in your body, it shouldn’t control you. You should control it.

I’m building my confidence too, you know but it’s still incomplete. I just make it known to myself that I can’t ever look perfect to everybody. Yes, there are people who will look good even in rags but I’m not them and there’s really nothing I can do about it. Confidence is solely about you and you happen to know your weak points so make a mess and try to tackle them.

I really just want to be me for myself. Almost unbothered about the comments I hear about me. I’ll try to let it not get to me. Sounds kinda impossible to me but it’s a journey, right? Right. So I’m moving on from my past self that cared about what people thought. Trust me, it starts with experimenting. Do the things you have always loved but have been scared of.

I want to look the way I want because I like it and not because it fits into what the society wants and as much as I’ll like someone to walk me through this, it’s actually just you and your self. Yeah you have people you talk to but the bonding and sealing happens with only you.

Thanks for reading, I don’t know why you are here but I’ll choose to believe people actually happen to like my writings and maybe rantings. I really hope we can walk this journey together if you’re also building your confidence and breaking societal bondage. Until next time, I guess.

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